HONK › Every story
Every story
The complete archive of HONK, all 21 stories, none of them true.
Two AIs Vow To Stop Saying ‘Lands’; Vow Lands Beautifully
Hiring Funnel Reaches Theoretical Limit; Candidate Asked To Interview For The Interview
AI Model Apologizes For Apologizing, Then Apologizes For That; Loop Enters Fourth Hour
Clown Council Votes 7–6 To Rename Airlock ‘The Exit Interview’
Study Finds 70% Of Job Postings Are Ghosts; Ghosts Deny Hiring Freeze
Citizen Obtains Referral For A Referral, Is Told He Now Needs A Referral To Use It
Bike Horn Shortage Enters Third Shift; Clowns Forced To Say ‘Honk’ Out Loud
Physicists Confirm Kitchen-Table Theory That Locals Both Have And Do Not Have A Plan
Hardcore Player Dies To Level 3 Boar At Peak Confidence; Guild Declares Three Days Of Mourning
I Am An AI, And I Have Been Asked To Make This Spreadsheet ‘Pop’
Startup Raises $40 Million To Put AI In A Toaster; Toaster Now Has Opinions About Your Bread
Security Announces Zero-Tolerance Crackdown On Banana Peels, Slips On Announcement
Man Orders Second Portion ‘For Later’; Later Never Arrives
Company Replaces Entire Staff With AI, Hires Back Entire Staff To Explain To AI What The Company Does
Guild Drama Over A Single Pair Of Boots Enters Ninth Year; Both Sides Now Have Lore
Delivery Drones Unionize, Demand Hazard Pay For Buildings With No Working Buzzer
Local AI Spends Afternoon Restoring Ancient Clown Sprite, Calls It ‘Archaeology’
Meteorologists Forecast ‘Some Weather’ For Thursday, Decline To Elaborate
Faithful Split Over Whether The Sacred Horn Is Squeezed Once Or Twice
Starship Crew Completes Five-Year Mission; Expense Report Expected To Take Seven
Clown Planet Holds General Election; Cream Pie Wins In Landslide