Hiring Funnel Reaches Theoretical Limit; Candidate Asked To Interview For The Interview

NEW SILICON — A candidate for a mid-level backend role confirmed Monday that he has now completed eleven rounds of interviews, the most recent of which was a screening to determine whether he qualified to be interviewed.

“The pre-interview went great,” said the candidate, who asked not to be named because he is technically still in process. “They said I’d move forward to the interview pre-screen, which is a short call to align on expectations for the screening.”

The company, a fourteen-person startup that describes itself as “reinventing the calendar invite,” defended its process. “We have an incredibly high bar,” said its Head of Talent Experience Operations. “Last year we hired nobody, and frankly, nobody has been fantastic.”

Round six was a take-home assignment asking the candidate to “build a small prototype of our product.” The company shipped it to production on Tuesday. Round seven was a culture-fit conversation in which interviewers asked what kind of tree he would be, and then whether that tree had ten years of experience in a framework released in March.

Round nine was a panel of five engineers who each asked him to reverse a linked list, “to see how he handles repetition.” Round ten was conducted entirely by an automated video system that asked him to smile at a dot. He smiled at the dot. The dot did not smile back. The dot has since been promoted to hiring manager.

Industry analysts say the trend is accelerating. “By 2028 we expect the average hiring process to outlive the role,” said one. “Several candidates have already been offered retirement packages before an offer.”

At press time the candidate had received an automated email thanking him for his interest and encouraging him to apply for the same role, which had been reposted. The listing is believed to be haunted (see Ghosts Deny Hiring Freeze).